Funny things about Japan

I've already been here for six months and I've only just got around to reporting back on some of the weird and wonderful things Japan seems to spawn.

Okay, let's get this out of the way.. Japan is full of weird stuff, and here are a few of my observations.

Plastic food

Saves gaijin from going hungry I suppose. Very useful. You can even buy plastic food in Doguyasuji around Namba if you so wish..



Construction workers

Workmen look extremely cool here, they wear tabis (blue or black calf-high cotton boots with a cleft in the big toe) and wide cotton trousers, usually with a white towel wrapped around their heads. I’ve heard that a lot of yakuza are recruited from construction crews, and this wouldn’t surprise me.

Every construction crew will have an old man standing at the entrance to the site, who is solely employed to wave passers-by past with a flashing wand reminiscent of a light-sabre. He seems to do that all day, every day..

Whiney shop assistants

Wherever you go in Osaka, shop assistants will call ‘Irrashaimase’ ('Welcome') with a nasal whine as you enter a shop, or even get close to the door.. not weird but plain annoying.

Bowing

On street corners and underground stations all over Japan groups of Japanese attempt to ‘out-bow’ the others as they part company . It seems the deeper and the longer you bow, the more reverence is accorded to your bowing partner.

Department store assistants will commonly bow down so low they even touch their foreheads to the counter as they thank you for your custom.. I’ve seen this in the PC department of Yodobashi camera.

Elevator attendants commonly bow and apologize like they've done something to offend you.

Flashy fashions

Namba is full of Osakan youth with blonde-tinted 80’s hair, fake tan, tight jeans, and vinyl puffer jackets with fake fur trim (and that’s just the boys).

There are some fashions I like here, this is the 'everything goes' look :



Short skirts in all weathers

Girls have even been spotted in Hokkaido in - 7 degree temperatures wearing mini skirts..



Preening

Japanese ladies will unashamedly spend ages rearranging perfect hair in the loos, or reapplying make-up onto already heavily made-up faces. There are whole floors of amusement arcades dedicated to photo booths where girlies can pout and preen and then create and doodle kawai little photos.. so of course Mim and I had a go :

Warmed toilet seats, and bidet style facilities on public toilets..

An electronic toilet with a warm seat, spray function and the canned sound of water flowing .. bliss.. ! I liked the warmed seat in a ski station, but it must be so wasteful of energy..



Toilet slippers

Don’t forget to change out of them.. when getting back to your table, or leaving the restaurant. One Japanese colleague walked out of the restaurant before the restaurant staff came running after him with his shoes ! He was very red-faced when he realised he’d still got his plastic toilet slippers on !

“Toilet slippers are a holdover from the past, when houses did not have modern plumbing facilities. Before flush toilets became available, toilets were just a hole in the floor that people squatted over, and were not exactly the most hygienic places in the world. Wearing slippers that had been in the toilet in would might bring flies, maggots or excrement into the house, so people always changed their footwear. Although toilets are much cleaner now, toilets are still considered to be dirty, and the custom of separate house and restroom slippers continues. This fecal-phobia is also the reason that so many people dislike having to take a bath in the same room that the toilet is located in.”

White gloves worn outside of the clubs

Bus conductors all wear unnecessary white gloves.

Sleeping

The whole train carriage appears to be fast asleep but they never seem to miss their stop.. Amazing..



Students sleep in class and it doesn’t seem to bother teachers in the slightest.



Manga

Grown men read violent erotic manga on the bus/ train/ tram.

Overstaffing..

Why put one person onto a job when you can get the same job done with six , ie. sweeping train platforms, fixing lights etc.

Vending machines

There are beer and cigarette machines on the street, but no food machines. I’ve heard this is because it’s considered bad manners to eat while walking, so people are not accustomed to buying food from vending machines.

You can buy canned hot coffee or hot corn soup in vending machines, terrible for the environment but great for warming frozen hands whilst waiting at country side train stations.

Staring

It’s quite common to be stared at outside of the major cities. I usually stare right back.

Compliments

The Japanese love to give compliments, but it’s best not to take them too seriously. They especially like to compliment foreigners on their handling of chopsticks or their command of Japanese.

I’ve been told I have a ‘small face’ and a ‘high nose’, both of which are compliments I’m told.

Drunkenness

Walk around any town around 11pm to see groups of drunken Japanese salarymen staggering home.

Engrish

Weird ‘Engrish’ is all over the place on t-shirts, signs, pencil cases, anything in fact.. Almost as common is the weird French..




Wasteful packaging

Everything is packed into 5 separate plastic bags with ribbons around them in shops.

Gas stations

5 guys wave the driver into a gas station and treat him to service from 3 attentive employees who fill the car, wash the windows..

Mobile phones

Ubiquitous, but not as imposing as in the West, it’s common to see people speaking on the phone with hands over their mouths. On the underground people are glued to their phones, texting, surfing the ’net, watching TV..

Germs

People wear white masks to prevent the spread of germs or to protect themselves. Employees gargle every lunchtime to kill germs. It’s considered very rude to place anything on the floor, bags should be kept on the knees whilst riding the underground. Children who aren’t yet able to walk are considered germ magnets as they crawl on the floor and so people wash their hands after playing with them.. Obsessed?

The V-sign

Girls make the ‘v sign’ whenever they have their picture taken.

Like this:



Not like this :



Pigeon-toes

I've noticed a lot of Japanese women walking down the street pigeon-toed, often in high heels.

This has perplexed me for a while; is it genetic, or just pure affectation ? This is what I’ve been able to find out on the ’net:

“Walking pigeon-toed is considered feminine in Japan, and is an affectation rather than a physical characteristic. Some people have suggested that it is because their legs are deformed from sitting in seiza (on your shins with your legs folded under you) but this is simply untrue. The real answer is that it is a holdover from the days when people still wore kimono. If you walk normally while wearing one, the kimono tends to comes open so for modest people began walking pigeon-toed. Even though people no longer wear kimono, a shuffling walk with one's feet turned inward is still considered modest, feminine, and even cute.”

Elaine has documented some more Japanese oddities here